Values Teaching Tips

April 2002 Newsletter, published by Shirley P. Murdock, Ed.D, and Collaborating Readers
in conjuction with Dr. PM's Values curricula site, www.characterishigherthanintellect.com

Thank you for sharing your valuable time to consider these monthly tips in your teaching of values. Though we are members of a minority in training up children in "the way [they] should go," we can take heart in the fact that together and individually we can truly make a difference. Each of us is striving to touch, embolden, and nurture that force inside every student, and ourselves, that wants goodness, loves truth, and seeks virtue. I sincerely hope you will consider contributing your tips and experiences as well, so we can keep improving and learning together. Also, feel free to write me at any time, even if you just need a sounding board. If you can think of a friend or organization that might be interested, please email them here. APRIL 2002: Teaching Values is a Process, Not an Event You are serious about the task of teaching youngsters strong values, thus building a values structure within them that empowers them with responsible decision-making skills, or you would not be reading this. Remember that our goal is to teach our young learners analytical thinking skills and human performance skills so that they can build frameworks of thinking patterns and behavior patterns upon which to base appropriate decisions; that these frameworks become strong enough to enable them to make responsible decisions even when the umbilical cord of influence between them and their parents, teachers or leaders is severed. To achieve that goal in real life is no easy task. So we must settle in for the long haul, precept upon precept, value correlated to value for the duration of our young learners' development. Know that your efforts are not in vain. Any time spent teaching values development during the formative years weeds out the prickly problems that raise their burrish heads during the teenage era. Ounces of preventative work are worth tons of remedial work! Too many parents, teachers, and agencies are locked in at the remedial level, which is very time consuming, very expensive, and often very unsuccessful. Patient, consistent follow-through achieves our purpose. The more we do at the very early ages, the less there is to remediate at the later ages. Opposition in All Things is Not Always Bad Most of us, if we had our druthers, would want to do away with all things negative; things that are discouraging, that we consider mistakes, or all those things we can cast into the basket labeled "Opposition." Yet, with further thought, we heartily recognize, as we look over the years of our own personal experience, that we can learn a great deal through dealing with and overcoming the obstacles or opposition we encounter in daily living; yes, much more than if everything ran smoothly, or if we did indeed "live happily ever after", which is, of course, a fairy tale. The challenge in making opposition work for us instead of against us, is to stop hollering at the pain of it, wasting time and energy in anger and frustration, and to put that same powerful focus in listening to and watching for the character building traits we need to work out; look for the resolutions necessary to turn opposition into triumph rather than grooming for defeats. Spending time on our knees rather than shaking our fists is much more productive and yields much "higher" returns. Celebrate the Good Along the Way We often are so involved in pointing out the wrong or bad things our children or students are doing, that we forget to celebrate the right or good things that they do. When the family is gathered together, or when your class is all together, take each child or student to the front of the group, stand behind them with your arms around them and tell the group how much you admire or love that particular person and name a special quality they have. Then invite each member of the group to name a special quality they admire in that person. Do this activity for each member of the group in turn. When you finish, compare the feelings of good will that exist at that moment to the feelings of ill-will when criticism or pointing out errors is prevalent. This is not to say that you shouldn't strive to teach and correct those things that children or students are doing wrong, but rather to make sure we're taking time to frequently celebrate the good along the way. Master this Principle: "The soft answer turneth away wrath" (Proverbs 15) Refraining from saying "I told you so!" or "How many times have I told you such and such?!" speaks much louder than if you say it. It takes a lot of self-discipline on your own part, but if you can respond with softness rather than harshness to negative behavior on the part of your learner (even when they darn well deserve it :) you can turn a potentially bad experience into a very positive experience. Do not interpret this to mean that learners should not experience the consequences of inappropriate or downright bad behavior. They can be disciplined with time-outs, losing privileges, paying for damage, or whatever consequences are justified; administering discipline with a soft voice almost always insures the child will receive it as fair treatment and accept the consequences as just. Then they can focus on how they behaved rather than how they were treated. Next Month: Monitoring the Media If you have it all in place, speaking in a values-teaching sense, and do not monitor the media, it is like telling a horse to gee when you want it to haw; or making a right turn with your car when your signal is blinking left. Contributions from Our Readers Luann writes: "I received the following from a dedicated teacher in response to some of my education-related Capitol Reports. She fairly states the plight of many educators." I am a teacher, And I am tired. Tired of politics, adminstration's scare tactics, Frustrated colleagues, semi-conscious students, Media hype, and especially I am tired of parents who Expect me to resolve their children's problems. I simply do not have all the answers. I have tried everything: I have hugged your child, listened to your child, Bought supplies for your child And reminded your child Of the importance of getting an education As well as the importance of caring about life With heart and genuineness. I have read theories on how to teach at-risk students, Which includes the majority of the student population Because "at-risk" is really defined as Children growing up without parental supervision. I have read theories on how to teach pregnant students, Students on drugs, abused students, high-energy students, Shy students, female students, and male students. I have attended conferences for ideas On how to teach hands-on activities, Higher-level thinking skills, cooperative learning groups, And numerous other strategies. I have lain awake at night Rolling over and over in my head Both solutions and lamentations. I have cried tears Trying to find the answers for motivating your child To be able to have success in my classroom And in life. I am a teacher. I am not a medical doctor. I am not a psychiatrist. I am not a minister. I am not a Harvard graduate And I am not a former drug addict Or former-anything that provides insight Into your child's situation. I am not God, And I am not, emphatically and unequivocally, Your child's parent. I am a teacher. I am tired of politicians blaming policy-makers, State government blaming localities, Administration blaming central office, Central office blaming school board, School board blaming city council, And everyone blaming teachers. And I have to tell you, The students who have success in my classroom Are the ones whose parents I have met at every open house, And on every parent/teacher conference day. So please, don't tell me that educators are the solution; The solution, and the power, and the state of your child's welfare Are in your hands. Not in my hands, but in the hands of you, the parent. If you don't want to lose another educator who cares, Who works, and sweats, and strives to encourage your child, Then I suggest that you get to your child's school And make education matter in your child's life. Because, I am a teacher. (Author unknown) "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." Johann von Goethe New Curricula Pricing Remember, we just passed along production savings on the Character is Higher Than Intellect curricula for family or classroom use. If you haven't yet looked, check out the new prices here.