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Of all human relationships, the sex relationship is most unique. That is because under favorable circumstances, it can be the most enjoyable, most reinforcing, most intimate, and ultimately the most sacred relationship experienced by a man and a woman for you have entered into a partnership with God to bring wanted, loved offspring to Earth and to your home and when that is finished, you still enjoy all of the other facets of the relationship for a lifetime.

Under unfavorable circumstances, including the whole host of sexually abberant behaviors outside of marriage (and sadly even inside marriage on occasion) in which some engage, the sexual relationship can be the most devastating, demeaning, heart-breaking, disappointing, unhealthy relationship of all. It can even be life-threatening to those participating in it through STDs, to the unborn who are often aborted, to the children who are the outcome of such activity and often enter into the highest poverty, highest abuse categories in the statistics. The cost in human suffering is immeasurable; the cost in tax dollars to pay for the consequent outcomes is in the two digit billions of dollars each year.

It is always right or good or beneficial to be honest, to not cheat, to not steal, to be fair, to be truthful, loyal and so on. Such is not so with the sexual relationship. Sometimes it is right, good, beneficial, to engage in sex and sometimes it very wrong, bad, harmful to engage in the same activity. That is why the sexual relationship is so unique. Sexual relationships must occur under the right circumstances to be successful.

Those values or principles that contribute to successful sexuality:

• The trust relationship must precede a sexual relationship; it has components and can be taught. Best friends will not take advantage of each other or cause the other to behave less than their best.
  
• Understanding the differences between love and lust. Many young people feel they are in love, when they are really only in lust. Love does not require a sacrifice of personal integrity. A wise man said: "Love is not a relationship. It is your state of being. A relationship is possible but love is not confined to it, it is beyond it, it is more than that. A person becomes mature the moment they stop needing and start loving. They start overflowing, they start sharing, they start giving. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena … they are together, and yet tremendously alone; they are almost one, but their oneness does not destroy their individuality." That is the love we want. It is worth whatever it takes to achieve it.
  
• Commitment to remain abstinent until marriage. This usually involves a personal commitment to God since the pressures placed upon young people to be sexually active by peers, the media, and society at large are so great that almost everyone will succumb unless they have made a personal commitment to him/herself and God to remain abstinent until marriage. The Lord asks that of us because He knows that will bring the greatest happiness in such a relationship.
  
• Waiting until at least16 to date; then date only those who share the same commitments. Discuss this before dates. Dress modestly; do not pet or neck heavily. You can do it and it works.
  
• Do not go steady until you are ready for a permanent relationship involving a commitment to marry. Still do not pet.
  
• Dating in couples or groups; do wholesome activities; do not watch shows, videos that encourage premarital sex or arouse sexual desires. Go home at a reasonable time after a date.